Gender affirmation

(Channeling my inner Emily Litella)

What’s all this I hear about gender-firming treatment?

My gender has always been firm, as has been my sex. Definitely female, but not very feminine. My mother, bless her heart, tried to nudge me into girlier territory, but it never took.

Oh, you mean gender-affirming treatment? Until recently, I had not thought much about that. But then it got personal. Late last year, I was diagnosed with very early stage breast cancer. A friend suggested I join a support group on Facebook. (One of the few things it’s still good for.) it’s been an education.

Although they never used the word, much of the discussion about surgical choices seemed to boil down to gender affirmation, at least at first. The kind of cancer that we have tends to be small localized, and not very invasive. Lumpectomy, or partial mastectomy is a very common surgical route. Some patients opt for double mastectomy, usually due to genetic or family history factors. And then what?

The discussion of post surgical reconstruction is essentially about affirming one’s identity. Unsurprisingly, there is a wide range of personal opinion on this very intimate decision. For some, regaining something close to the original contours of the breast is important. For others, a flat chest is just fine. The most interesting thing is that very, very few describe their decision in terms of gender.They just want to feel like themselves again.

Are the ones who want implants more female/feminine than the flat-chested ones? Is it about gender identity, or just plain identity?

No need to answer right away. I’ve been studying gender for over 40 years and I’m convinced that most people who use the word have no idea what they’re talking about.

So take your time.

In the meantime, I’ll just sit here with my short hair, my corduroy pants and my plaid shirt, just being me, affirming my identity.